Just a Smackerel of Something

It was the kind of day—with a crisp fall breeze and cloudless sky—that demands a particular type of appreciation.  A sit still and remember kind of day, and (to take a phrase from A. A. Milne) I needed "just a smackerel of something" to help me get the remembering right.  Something rich and satisfying was in order, and I knew just the thing: The Bumper Book.

Edited by "Watty Piper" (who is apparently not a real person, but that's another story), The Bumper Book is full of fair-to-middling 20th century children's literature.  What makes it great, however, is the art, by a woman known simply as Eulalie.  As children, we all have those things—a book or a letter; a trinket or photo—that make us feel magical. For me, it was this book, and I poured over the pages again and again hoping to somehow make it real. 


And so it was, on this particular sit still and remember day, that I found myself remembering how badly I wanted the book's world to be real.  I slowly turned the pages until I came to  "Animal Crackers" by Christopher Morley.  Suddenly I was dreaming of the kitchen Christopher and Eulalie imagined for me:

Animal crackers and cocoa to drink,
That is the finest of suppers, I think;
When I'm grown up and can have what I please
I think I shall always insist upon these.

What do you choose when you're offered a treat?
When Mother says, "What would you like best to eat?"
Is it waffles and syrup, or cinnamon toast?
It's cocoa and animals that I love the most!

The kitchen's the coziest place that I know:
The kettle is singing, the stove is aglow,
And there in the twilight, how jolly to see
The cocoa and animals waiting for me.

Daddy and Mother dine later in state,
With Mary to cook for them, Susan to wait;
But they don't have nearly as much fun as I
Who eat in the kitchen with Nurse standing by;
And Daddy once said he would like to be me
Having cocoa and animals once more for tea!
_________________________________________

I have a black cat like the one on the photo, and there's a kettle on my stove.  The kitchen is the coziest place that I know, and I love having tea.  But one line had me panicked:  What do you choose when you're offered a treat?

Suddenly tea time had become an existential crisis.  What do I choose!?  With that, I shut the book and headed straight to the kitchen.  Faster than you can say "Eulalie" I was preheating the oven, fishing out cookie cutters, and searching for my best animal cracker recipe.

In truth, there aren't that many good animal cracker recipes.  Oprah has one, but I don't trust it.  (It included frosting and sprinkles.  Too fussy.)  I found another that listed allspice, mace, and ginger in the ingredients, which all sound completely unnecessary.  William and Sonoma's recipe...well...I just refuse to believe their recipes are real.  In the end, King Arthur Flour has the best animal cookie recipe.  (King Arthur's Flour is my one and only;  I don't bake with anything else.) 

And yes, the recipe is important, but let's be honest:  What you really need are stellar cookie cutters.  Though I don't have an entire zoo, I do have a few animals to choose from:

Lions and elephants and giraffes...oh my!

The list of ingredients is brief:

• 3/4 cup (12 tablespoons) soft butter
• 1/4 cup sugar
• 3 tablespoons honey
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
• 1 teaspoon Princess Cake and Cookie Flavor, or flavor of your choice
• 1 1/2 cups King Arthur Unbleached All-Purpose Flour
• 1 cup oat flour or finely ground rolled oats   

A few caveats: I hope to never cook with anything that has the word "Princess" in it.  I am assuming this is a play on the whole "King Arthur" thing.  I skipped the special "Princess Cake and Cookie Flavor" and just used vanilla extract.  The results were terrific.  Next time I will use 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract and 1/2 teaspoon almond extract, just because I am crazy like that.  Also, I did not have any oat flour.  I did have plain oats, though.  I ground it up and used it instead.  

Last but not least, I added my own special touch:  I sprinkled a very small amount of vanilla sugar on top of each cookie before I baked them.  Last spring I bought a jar of vanilla sugar at the world-famous Demel café...

As far as I am concerned, this jar is worth more than all the gold in Fort Knox.  I use it very sparingly on special occasions like sit still and remember days and mornings when my sister, Sharen, is visiting from Texas and doesn't have her special Coffee Mate for her coffee. 

The verdict?  Absolutely delicious animal crackers, with or without the vanilla sugar.  You'll need to line the pan with parchment paper and bake at 350 degrees for about 8 minutes.  Do all that, and you'll have these:

See the crystals of vanilla delight?

Like the plate?  Check out Miss Blackbirdy

Go ahead, bite me!

If you want to get wacky and super size it, go ahead:

Whether you have vanilla sugar, appreciate the day for what it is--it's only 24 hours.  Make it real.  Sit still and remember:  life's what you bake it.

 

Life's What You Bake It

I have not always been a woman obsessed with baking cookies. 

There was a time when I was a child merely fascinated by it.  This was back when it was still okay to give your kid St. Joseph's children's asprin and long enough ago that my parents' kitchen appears "vintage" and my mother's apron decidedly retro:

Mom and me

I spent happy days in our square eat-in kitchen while the double oven pre-heated, the Mixmaster whirred, and I helped Mom sift flour and open packages of chocolate chips.  Over the years, I've learned a few things:

1.  Why wait for someone to bake for you when you can do it yourself?  I was in kindergarten when I got my Easy Bake Oven.  I immediately made myself a birthday cake:

Impatient?  Maybe.  I prefer the term self starter.  I would rather have Mom bake me a birthday cake (her chocolate birthday cake with chocolate icing makes everything right in the world), but sometimes we all just need to do things for ourselves.  Even when we are in kindergarten.  Even when we are not in the kitchen.  All of us need reminding about Lesson 1 from time to time. 

2.  There are no mistakes. Only revelations (some of which should not be repeated).  By kindergarten I had tired of the packets of pre-measured cake mix that came with my beloved Easy Bake Oven. 

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 I started experimenting with my own creations.  Unaware of the difference between halving and doubling, some recipes were more successful than others.  (Mom let me figure it out on my own.)  I remember one "cake" I made with my bestie, Holly.  (Holly had the best dress up clothes and best dollhouse in the whole world.)  One recipe we tried tasted like gingerbread, but what fascinated me was that there was no ginger in it.  At all.  By the next day it had turned green.  Luckily, we did not.  A little adventure is a good thing;  get too far outside your comfort zone, though, and you risk turning yourself or something else green.  Don't say I didn't warn you. (Willy Wonka and Violet Beauregard would agree.)

3.  Electrical fires are put out with flour.  Some lessons are practical.  By elementary school I decided to try my hand at baking.  Alone.  (See Lesson 1.) It was Saturday morning, and I was supposed to be watching cartoons while my parents were out.  Instead, I saw an ad for cookies (damn Keebler elves), and realized I wanted cookies, not cartoons.  To this day, I believe it would all have been fine if only Mom had not left greasy paper towels in the bottom of the oven (who does that!?).  It was not my fault the paper towels caught fire while the oven preheated.  Not at all.  Those paper towels should not have been there in the first place.  And yes, it would have been better if I put out the fire in the electric oven with flour rather than water.  But I did put it out! 

4.  Start with the basics.  Here is the the world's greatest chocolate chip cookie recipe (my mom's).  Mom claims that she "just uses the old Toll House recipe," but I beg to differ. (If you are having trouble reading the recipe cards, you can scroll to the end of this post for the typed version.)

She wrote the recipe out for me in 1992, which (I am willing to confess) is the year I graduated from college. Generally speaking, I recommend we all set out with the basics (please, thank you, clean underwear, a new toothbrush, and a good cookie recipe) whenever starting something new, whether graduating from college or sending your child off to college.

5. Life's what you bake it.  You can follow the best recipe,  use the best ingredients, and bake the best cookies, but it's no good if you don't share the love.  Make the time; bake the cookies.  Make a mess, leave it there.  Set the timer, go outside for 10 minutes while they bake.  When you walk back in, the smell of baking cookies will wrap around you like your mother's arms on a cold winter day.  You'll feel like a kid again.  Pour a glass of cold milk.  Take those cookies out; let them cool.  Have two.  Save two for each member of your family.  Then, wrap up the rest and share.  Take them to your neighbor. The firehouse.  The homeless shelter two towns over or your child's teacher.  Make your corner of the world a happier place.  Share the love, because that's why we're here.  Besides, everyone wants just one more cookie.

World's Greatest Chocolate Chip Cookies

Cream:

1 stick unsalted butter

1/2 c. brown sugar (packed)

1/2 c. white sugar

Add:

2 eggs

Combine:

2 3/4 c. flour

1 tea. baking soda

1 tea. salt

1 ½ tea. vanilla

1 c. semi-sweet choc. chips

1 c. dark chocolate chips

½-3/4 c. milk chocolate chips

Drop cookies by the teaspoonful onto greased cookie sheet.  Bake at 350 degrees for 12-13 min.  or less, depending on your oven.  Makes about 1 1/2 doz. to 2 doz., depending on how big you make the cookies.  I strongly suggest that you have milk on hand before you eat any.